Romance scams can start with a friendly conversation on a chat site. Someone builds your trust, then asks for money, gifts or personal information. This guide explains the warning signs, how to recognise a fake identity, and what to do if someone targets you.
Most people you meet online are exactly who they say they are. But scammers target chat sites precisely because people there are open and friendly. Knowing the warning signs means you can relax and enjoy chatting – and spot trouble early if it comes along.
What is a romance scam?
A romance scam is when someone builds a friendship or romance online with the aim of getting money, gifts, account details or intimate images from you. A catfish is someone pretending to be a different person – sometimes to scam, sometimes for other reasons.
The biggest warning sign: money
Asking for money, gift cards, crypto or account details – for any reason – is the clearest red flag there is. The story might be an emergency, a travel problem, a business opportunity or a sick relative. It doesn’t matter. On Intrigue Chat, requests for money, gift cards, off-site payments or account details lead to an immediate ban.
Other warning signs
- Stories that don’t add up, or that change over time.
- Pressure to move quickly to another app or platform.
- Declaring strong feelings very fast.
- Refusing to video call, or always having an excuse.
- Asking lots of questions about where you live or work.
- Trying to isolate you from friends or other members.
- Asking you to keep your conversations secret.
If it feels too good to be true, it probably is.
How to check someone is real
- Suggest a video call before you share anything personal.
- Notice whether their story stays consistent over time.
- Take your time – genuine people don’t mind going slowly.
- Ask a friend for a second opinion if something feels off.
Sextortion
Sextortion is when someone threatens to share intimate images unless you pay or send more. If it happens: don’t pay, stop replying, keep evidence, report it to staff, and contact the police. You are not to blame, and help is available.
Protect your account
- Use a unique, strong password.
- Never share your login details, even with friends.
- Log out on shared devices.
- Staff will never ask for your password – anyone who does is trying to take over your account.
What to do if you’re targeted
- Stop replying – you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
- Don’t send money, gifts or images.
- Keep evidence. Screenshots help staff understand what happened – just don’t share them publicly.
- Use the report option on their profile or message, or contact staff.
- Block them.
- If you’ve lost money or been threatened, contact the police.
How Intrigue Chat handles scams
Scams are taken seriously. Asking members for money, gifts or payment details breaks the House Rules, ban evasion gets every account banned, impersonating staff or members is a serious breach, and every report is reviewed. Staff will never ask for your password. Read the House Rules for the full picture.
Frequently asked questions
How do I know if I’m talking to a catfish?
Watch for stories that don’t add up, refusal to video call, and pressure to move to another app. Be especially cautious if money comes up.
Will staff ever ask for my password?
No. Anyone asking for your password is trying to take over your account.
What should I do if someone threatens to share my photos?
Don’t pay or send anything else. Save evidence, report them to staff, block them, and contact the police if needed.
Related guides
- Our online safety tips.
- Our safe adult chat site checklist.
- Our House Rules guide.
Before you join
- Read the House Rules guide before you post.
- Brush up on manners with our chat etiquette guide.
- Keep yourself safe with our online chat safety tips.
Keep the mystery. Lose the drama. Join Intrigue Chat, pick a name, and say hello in Intrigue Bar And Lounge when you’re ready.