Dealing with trolls is an unavoidable part of spending time online. Trolls are people who post to provoke – to upset, annoy or wind others up for their own amusement. In a chat room, one determined troll can derail a friendly conversation in minutes.
The good news is that trolls have a simple weakness: they need a reaction. Take away the reaction, and most trolling fizzles out. Add clear rules, active Room Keepers and good block and report tools, and trolls quickly discover that a well-run room isn’t worth the effort.
This guide covers seven calm, effective tactics for dealing with trolls on Intrigue Chat, an adults-only (18+) chat community built around friendship, flirting and genuine connection. You’ll learn how to spot trolling, how to respond (and when not to), and how the House Rules and moderation support you.
What is a troll?
Online trolls deliberately post things designed to provoke. Unlike someone who simply disagrees with you, a troll isn’t interested in conversation. They’re interested in the reaction.
Common trolling behaviour includes:
- Deliberately offensive comments designed to upset people.
- Baiting – posting inflammatory opinions to start arguments.
- Flooding the chat with repeated messages, caps lock or GIFs.
- Derailing conversations with off-topic or disruptive posts.
- Targeting one person with mockery or insults.
- Mocking newcomers or people asking genuine questions.
It’s worth remembering that not everyone who says something awkward is a troll. People misread jokes, have bad days or simply disagree. The difference is intent: trolls keep going because the reaction is the point.
Why chat room trolls do it
Understanding why online trolls behave the way they do makes them much easier to handle.
- They want attention. Any reaction – anger, hurt, arguing back – rewards them.
- They enjoy disruption. Derailing a friendly room gives them a sense of power.
- They’re testing limits. Some want to see what they can get away with.
- They’re bored. For some, trolling is simply entertainment.
Notice that none of these are about you. Trolls aren’t reacting to anything you’ve done wrong. They’d behave the same way with anyone.
Tactic 1: Don’t feed the trolls
The oldest advice on the internet is still the best: don’t feed the trolls. Every reply, argument or emotional response gives a troll exactly what they want.
Instead:
- Don’t reply to deliberately provocative comments.
- Don’t argue or try to prove them wrong.
- Don’t insult them back, however tempting it is.
- Carry on the conversation with everyone else as if they hadn’t posted.
When a troll gets no reaction, they usually lose interest quickly. Ignoring them is one of the most effective tools you have for dealing with trolls.
Tactic 2: Block them
Ignoring a troll is easier when you can’t see them. On Intrigue Chat, you can block anyone you don’t want to hear from again.
Blocking is instant and doesn’t require any explanation. It’s especially useful if a troll is targeting you directly or following you into private messages.
There’s no need to announce that you’ve blocked someone. Just do it and get back to enjoying your evening.
Tactic 3: Report rule breaks
Ignoring and blocking protect you. Reporting protects everyone else too.
On Intrigue Chat, trolling often breaks one or more House Rules:
- Respect everyone – no harassment, bullying, threats or intimidation.
- No hate speech – including racism, sexism, homophobia, biphobia and transphobia.
- No spamming or flooding – no repeated messages, and no flooding with GIFs, images, emojis or caps lock.
- Keep content in the right room – no posting content where it doesn’t belong.
If a troll breaks the rules, use the report option on their profile or message. Screenshots can help staff understand what happened – just don’t share them publicly. Our House Rules guide explains each rule in detail.
Tactic 4: Let Room Keepers handle it
Room Keepers look after the rooms on Intrigue Chat. Dealing with trolls is part of what they do, and they’re far better placed to handle it than an angry room full of members.
- Contact a member of staff in the room or by PM if a troll is causing problems.
- Let them take action. Depending on how serious it is, the response may be a reminder, a warning, a mute or kick, or a ban.
- Follow their instructions, even if you’d have handled it differently.
When everyone leaves moderation to the Room Keepers, trolls lose the audience they were hoping for. Our guide to chat room moderation explains how the process works.
Tactic 5: Don’t retaliate or pile on
It can feel satisfying to join in when a whole room turns on a troll. But pile-ons usually make things worse. They fill the chat with conflict, give the troll attention, and can make the room feel hostile for everyone else.
The House Rules ask members to stay calm and not retaliate, because it makes it harder for staff to help. If you think a decision was wrong, take it up privately or through the Contact Us page, never by arguing in the room.
Report, block, and move on. That’s the most effective response.
Tactic 6: Support the person being targeted
When a troll targets someone else, a small act of kindness can make a big difference. You don’t need to confront the troll. Instead:
- Say something kind to the person being targeted, in the room or – after asking – in a PM.
- Change the subject to something friendly that includes them.
- Report the troll so staff know what’s happening.
Supporting the target, rather than attacking the troll, takes the energy out of trolling and shows what the community is really like.
Tactic 7: Protect your own wellbeing
Even when you handle trolls perfectly, their comments can sting. Looking after yourself is an important part of dealing with trolls.
- Remember it isn’t about you. Trolls would say the same things to anyone.
- Take a break if a comment has upset you.
- Switch rooms – you can move rooms at any time from the room list.
- Log off when chat stops being fun.
- Talk to friends or support services if something has really affected you.
A single troll doesn’t define a community. The friendly regulars you chat with every evening are far more representative.
When trolling becomes something more serious
Some behaviour goes beyond trolling. If someone threatens you, tries to find out where you live or work, or threatens to share private content, it’s no longer something to ignore.
- Report it to staff straight away.
- Block the person.
- Keep evidence, but don’t share it publicly.
- Contact the police if you feel in danger.
On Intrigue Chat, anything involving threats or sharing others’ private content results in a permanent ban. Our online safety tips cover what to do if someone threatens you.
How structure keeps chat room trolls away
Well-run communities are less attractive to trolls in the first place. On Intrigue Chat, several parts of the site’s structure help:
- Published rules mean trolling is clearly against the rules, not a grey area.
- Room Keepers are active in the rooms and can act quickly.
- Graded responses – from reminders to bans – mean repeat trolls face growing consequences.
- One account per person means trolls can’t simply create new accounts to get around a mute or ban.
This structure is why a moderated chat room feels so different from an “anything goes” chat site. Our safe adult chat site checklist explains what to look for.
Are you accidentally trolling?
Sometimes people come across as trolls without meaning to. It’s worth a quick self-check.
- Do you post the same thing repeatedly when nobody replies?
- Do you use lots of caps lock, GIFs or emojis in a busy room?
- Do you push a debate after people have asked to move on?
- Do you make jokes at other people’s expense?
If any of these sound familiar, don’t worry – small, first-time slip-ups usually get a friendly reminder. Our chat etiquette guide covers the unwritten rules that keep conversations friendly.
Quick guide to dealing with trolls
Keep this checklist in mind next time a troll appears.
- Spot it: Is this person trying to provoke a reaction?
- Ignore it: Don’t reply, argue or insult them back.
- Block it: Stop them contacting you.
- Report it: If it breaks the rules, use the report option.
- Tell staff: Let Room Keepers handle it.
- Support others: Be kind to anyone being targeted.
- Look after yourself: Take a break if you need one.
Types of online trolls you might meet
Online trolls come in a few familiar shapes. Recognising the type makes dealing with trolls quicker, because you’ll know what they’re after.
The provocateur
Posts deliberately offensive or extreme opinions to spark an argument. The goal is a heated debate that takes over the room. Best response: don’t engage, and report anything that breaks the rules.
The flooder
Fills the chat with repeated messages, caps lock, GIFs or emojis until nobody else can be heard. Flooding is against the House Rules. Best response: report it and let a Room Keeper step in.
The targeter
Picks one person and keeps mocking, insulting or following them. This can quickly become harassment. Best response: block, report, and support the person being targeted.
The derailer
Keeps dragging a conversation off-topic, often into subjects that upset people. Best response: carry on the real conversation, and mention it to a Room Keeper if it continues.
The rule-tester
Posts content that sits right on the edge of the rules to see what they can get away with. Best response: report it and let staff decide. That’s exactly what Room Keepers are there for.
Whatever the type, dealing with trolls follows the same pattern: don’t feed them, protect yourself, and let the people with the tools handle it.
Dealing with trolls in private messages
Some chat room trolls move into private messages, where fewer people can see what they’re doing. That can feel more personal, but the steps are the same – and you have even more control.
- Don’t reply. You never owe anyone a response in a PM.
- Block them. It stops them contacting you immediately.
- Report the message using the report option.
- Keep evidence if it’s serious, and share it with staff only.
Remember that the House Rules apply in private messages too. Harassment, threats and sharing others’ content are banned everywhere on the site. Our private message etiquette guide explains how PMs should work.
What Room Keepers see
It can help to know what happens on the other side when you report a troll.
When a report comes in, staff look at the situation individually. They consider what was said, how serious it was and whether it’s happened before. A first, minor slip might get a friendly reminder. Repeated or more serious behaviour can lead to a warning, a mute or kick, or a ban. Anything involving minors, threats, scams or sharing others’ private content results in a permanent ban.
Because Room Keepers see patterns across many reports, your report may be the one that confirms a problem others have already flagged. That’s why reporting online trolls matters, even when you’ve already blocked them.
Dealing with trolls as a newcomer
New members are sometimes a target for chat room trolls, simply because they don’t yet know how the community works. If you’re new and someone is trying to wind you up:
- Don’t take the bait. You don’t need to defend yourself or prove anything.
- Look for the Room Keepers. Room Keepers are there to welcome newcomers and keep rooms friendly.
- Stick with the regulars. Most regulars are warm and welcoming, and they’ll usually ignore a troll alongside you.
- Use your tools. Block and report work the same way on your first day as on your hundredth.
A single troll is not a sign that you’re in the wrong place. In a moderated room, trolls tend to be the ones who leave first.
Why dealing with trolls calmly works
It can feel unfair to stay calm while someone is being deliberately unpleasant. But calm is powerful. When dealing with trolls, a calm room gives them nothing to work with. There’s no argument to join, no outrage to feed and no drama to enjoy.
Calm also protects the room. Newcomers see a friendly community carrying on as normal, Room Keepers can act without a crowd shouting over them, and the conversation you were enjoying continues. Over time, online trolls learn that this is not the place for them.
A note for Room Keepers and regulars
Regulars set the tone of a room just as much as Room Keepers do. When dealing with trolls, the most helpful thing regulars can do is model the calm response: keep chatting, welcome people, report problems quietly and let Room Keepers act. Newcomers watch how regulars behave. When they see a room carry on happily while a troll is ignored, they learn quickly that this is a well-run community – and that’s the best defence against chat room trolls there is.
Three phrases worth remembering
- “Not worth a reply.” Most trolling deserves no response at all.
- “Block, report, move on.” Three quick steps, then back to your evening.
- “Let the Room Keepers handle it.” That’s what they’re there for.
Keep these in mind and dealing with trolls becomes a quick, calm routine rather than a drama.
Frequently asked questions
What is the best way of dealing with trolls?
Don’t react. Ignore them, block them, report any rule breaks and let Room Keepers handle it. Trolls rely on attention, so taking it away is the most effective response.
Should I reply to a troll?
No. Replying, arguing or insulting them back gives them the reaction they want and usually makes things worse.
Is trolling against the rules on Intrigue Chat?
Much trolling behaviour breaks the House Rules, including harassment, bullying, hate speech, spamming and flooding. Report it using the report option.
What happens to chat room trolls?
Staff look at every situation individually. Depending on how serious it is, the response may be a reminder, a warning, a mute or kick, or a temporary or permanent ban.
Can a troll come back with a new account?
Using multiple accounts to get around a mute or ban is against the rules. The House Rules allow one account per person.
What if a troll upsets me?
Take a break, switch rooms or log off. Talk to friends, and contact staff if you need help. Remember that trolling says more about the troll than about you.
The bottom line
Dealing with trolls is simpler than it seems. Don’t feed them, block them, report rule breaks, let Room Keepers handle it, avoid pile-ons, support anyone being targeted, and look after your own wellbeing. Trolls thrive on attention and chaos – a calm, well-moderated room gives them neither.
For wider advice on handling online abuse and harassment, Get Safe Online offers clear, practical guidance.
Related guides
- Our guide to chat room moderation.
- Our guide to setting online boundaries.
- Our safe adult chat site checklist.
Before you join
- Read the House Rules guide before you post.
- Keep yourself safe with our online chat safety tips.
- New here? Start with our beginner’s guide.
Ready for friendly chat? Join Intrigue Chat, pick a username and say hello in Intrigue Bar And Lounge.